HOME   CONTACT US  Like Us On Facebook Watch us on YouTube Follow Us On Twitter  
Smart Stepfamilies

From Amazon, B&N, & FamilyLife.


Dating Red Flags


Ron L. Deal


If you repeatedly witness the following from a dating partner with children, consider them significant red flags that should not be dismissed. 


  • Always on the Defense.  If they are closed to your observations about their children and easily defensive about their kids or their parenting, you will find yourself powerless in your own home.
  • Ignoring the Parental Unity Rules (review here).  If they refused to share parenting power with a previous spouse or won’t let you participate (especially when planning to marry), beware, beware, beware!
  • Cowering to an Ex-Spouse.  Someone who constantly seeks peace with an ex-spouse at all costs will not stand up for you when the time comes.


Witnessing these patterns before marriage gives you a chance to address them.  Consider it a gift from God to help you determine whether you should move forward with the relationship.


Again, do not minimize these patterns.  If you see them now, don’t expect them to disappear after the wedding.  We suggest you seriously consider delaying your decision to marry until you see significant changes.



Recommendation:  Take the Couple Checkup (dating version) to give you specific feedback on the quality of your relationship. 


Comments ( 1 )
Add your Comment
#1: by Kris Francis on 10.02.2008 @ 06:40am CDT

It might be interesting to hear a list of other red flags from people. Two I ignored while dating:

--How is my partner's relationship with the former partner? If it's bitter and unresolved, I should pay particular attention to his relationsships with family, co-workers, bosses, and other people and guage how he handles conflict in his life.

--Many of the my partern's complaints about me are similar to complaints he voiced about his former wife while we were dating. Hmm.

Add your Comment*
*Comments are moderated so your comment may not appear immediately.
Required fields are denoted by asterisks  * .

Name:   * 

Comment (Text):

(must be plain text - HTML tags are not allowed)

Verification Code:
Verification Code
Please enter the text from the image above:
The letters are not case-sensitive.
Do not type spaces between the numbers and letters.
Only type the numbers and letters in the middle row.

LEARN - Videos & Articles

EXPERIENCE - Conferences & Cruises

SAVE - Marriage Therapy Intensives

GROW - Get a Couple Checkup

EDUCATE - Blended Family Ministry & Professional Training