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Virginia from Ohio (submitted 10/5/10)

Divorced for two years after 24 years of marriage. 
I have two kids both living at home.  The oldest has tried out college and that
wasn't his thing.  In the meantime became a parent and they are not together as a
couple now.  However, takes parenting seriously and has the baby regularly - so I
now also have a baby in the home part-time.

Oh did I mention that we were short a bedroom to begin with and the living room and
sofa are the oldest's bedroom?

The youngest is now graduated from high school and attending college locally, but
plans to leave in a couple months for another school. 

His kids, the middle tried out college and didn't work out.  Has had a couple jobs
that didn't last and so he "booted him out because he won't work on getting a job"
and he went to stay with a friend.  The  oldest is in college and now has a job and
is staying in his home in this other town.  The youngest is a senior in high school
and is with her mother.

So - we have three homes total, his mine, ours.  When we talk about merging he will
not acknowledge that he will make this house of ours big enough for my kids to have
a room (not that I want them living with me into adulthood) but with one in college
and the possibility that I may end up with a grandchild.
If it was MY house then he would be fine moving in there and no problem with my kids
having their rooms, but since it is technically his house (in his name and he's
paying for it)he is not acceptable to this.
My kids are of extreme importance to me.  This is the only thing holding me back
from marriage.  I do not have the same feeling about his kids - I welcome them to my
home anytime, no matter where we would live.  If as adults they were in a
transition, college, military, divorce, etc. I would have no problem supporting any
of the kids.

Advice please.....

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