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Rebekah, from Texas (submitted May '09)


Name: Rebekah

Home: Texas

Hello, I am a step mother to 2 boys and thank goodness, don't have any problems with them. We get along great, and they also get along with my two sons. BUT...my children have a step-mother. She sends me these forwarded emails about step-family, Christian websites, bible scriptures, etc. etc. etc., but she is mean to my kids. I have overheard her be mean to my kids, so it's not that I am basing my opinions on what they say alone.

She has a daughter that she talked my ex into adopting. She can say and do whatever she wants, they even think it's cute when she cusses! But if my kid says the word "balls" when asking his older brother a question, she makes my ex spank him. I have NEVER said a negative word around my kids tricking them into thinking that their step-mother loves them. Trying to make things "okay" to them so they would think everything was okay. But her behavior is NOT okay. I can't do it anymore. I am not going to talk bad about her, but I'm dang sure not taking up for her anymore. She cussed my child with the F-word b/c he couldn't find his hat! How do I take up for that? She sends me emails about how long they kiss!! Pictures of the diamond ring he bought her!! Pictures of him holding candy and roses he bought her!! Pictures of the kid he adopted in his arms!! Pictures of the new house. Tell me that I am selfish asking their dad to help pay half of the medical which he's supposed to do. Pictures of her nails and toes after manicures. Pictures of the car my ex bought her other daughter. Texts telling me how sad my kids are and that they want to come home when they go every other weekend. Tell me, does that sound like a Christian thing to do?

I am a Christian. I am not perfect by any means, but this person is Satan reincarnated. I would never treat my step-children like she treats mine. Heck, I wouldn't treat a dog the way she treats mine. When my kids go over there, they have to pick up in the yard, fold lawndry, clean, etc. etc. which isn't bad except that they haven't been there all week to dirty any thing up and her other kids sit there and watch TV while my two boys act like Cinderella. I have stopped all contact with her via emails and texts b'c I can't take it anymore. I used to get 20-30 texts a day!! Do you know of a book that will help me to help my children to cope with fact that their step-mother has so much hate for them. How do I tell them to let an authority figure's words roll off their back. I really think she just hates me, but takes it out on them. I don't know. They suffer, and it makes me sick.

He makes them go spend the night with her when he is out of town. They ask me, "why mama, do we have to go?". "Daddy isn't even gonna be there". What do I say? Ask your dad. There is no need in things being this difficult for the boys. He purposely doesn't give them their medicine, prescribed mind you for allergies, because he wants to show me he is in control. I know I sound like a rambling idiot, but I just want to know how to make things better for my children. I feel sorry for their step-mother. She married an alcoholic and thought she could change him. Maybe she is frustrated and tired and takes it out on me. I pray that she is nice to my kids. Not super-duper nice, just nice. Maybe someday...



Comments ( 4 )
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#4: by StepMom on 06.18.2010 @ 09:23pm CDT

I would get a private-eye so that you can see a)what is really happening and b) have evidence so that you can go to court and take full custody of your children w/ supervised visits. I would never treat my SD like that in a million years. All of my kids get the same treatment in the chore area, regardless of who gave birth to them.
As the Lord to help you.
#3: by cbishop on 04.28.2010 @ 05:04pm CDT

I know what you are going thru. I went thru it with my stepmom and her daughter doing the same thing your kids stepmom is doing to yours. I believe they should ONLY go over to their dad's when he is at home. Always listen to your kids. It is possible that the story maybe exaggerated, but when it keeps happening and they keep telling, don't ignore it. I would definately put my foot down that they not go if their dad isn't home. He IS responsible for their medical bills, child support, etc. wheither she likes it or not(package deal). She needs to get over that. I also sounds like she is very insecure and jealous of what he had when he was with you. She sounds like she has some sort of demonizing spirit living in her. Just because they go to church does not make them christian. Praying is a good solution and maybe seeking legal advice about limiting visitation only when the dad is home sounds like the best alternative. Sorry for the pain your children are going thru.
#2: by stacy farrell on 07.27.2009 @ 11:44pm CDT

I agree with the last commentor, I know its hard. try comamas.com, get the book.

good luck
#1: by lynn on 05.11.2009 @ 11:08pm CDT

Please keep in mind you are getting your story from your kids - reality might be very different indeed. Your kids look to you for your energy about their step mom - if they are feeling like they are getting affirmation for talking her down or worse, they will continue to do it. I am not saying that the step mom is not in the wrong - she needs to focus on herself and her family and not you and your salvation. Just take what your kids say with a grain of salt.

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