Blending a family is very hard. I have a son and daughter. My husband has 2 daughters. In the beginning it was kind, polite, honesty, love and fun for our family. His girls came over every other weekend for the first year, then the oldest went off to college. The ex remarried and moved out of state, the youngest wanted to stay and go to High School with the friends she grew up with. We were happy for her to move in with us. We set down some basic ground rules and she was great to do what we asked. Then his ex made it known that she was unhappy that the youngest was FRIENDS with me -- that she enjoyed cooking and sometimes working with me. Finally 15 months later, the ex turned her 15 year old daughter into her ~ a she-devil. She moved out and her mom moved back (after her separation). My stepdaughter refuses to text, speak or talk to me in any fashion.......her mother paid her to stay away from me, her step-mother!!! Yes, paid her money to purposely hurt me. My husband stays too drunk every night to worry about it. He says she is just being a teenager. He won't even try to make her talk to me about anything. She just fell out of my life. I miss her, my kids miss her. What do I do? Where do I turn? Will I ever be able to forgive this hurtful meanness that has been done to me???
Dianne, I can empathize with you. My ex's mother turned my kids against me as well. I was getting visits through the court; at first they were supervised and then unsupervised. When they became unsupervised, the Grand-mother got pissed and told me that she was stopping any further contact where me and my kids were concerned. She has told them lies about me saying that I would kidnap them on one of the visits. The kids mother dies a couple of years ago and I feel that they need me in their lives now; more than before. Unfortunately the Grandmother doesn't see it that way though. After the mother died, the Grandmother adopted them and because I wasn't in a good place in life because of medical reasons and couldn't take care of them alone, I allowed it. However, I never expected her to do what she did and I'm feeling guilty for giving up my parental rights.Believe me there is a lot more and it would take forever to explain, but you get the gist of it. Any comments, let me know and I look forward to hearing from you soon!!!!
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"Smart Stepfamilies is the most highly practical program I know for helping couples who are dealing with the common struggles of stepparenting. The church desperately needs to offer hope to this large segment of our society. Ron and Nan Deal are available to help you with the process. Ron is an excellent presenter and his book The Smart Stepfamily is the most helpful book I know on this topic. I highly recommend them and their ministry."
Dr. Gary D. Chapman
Author of The Five Love Languages and The Five Languages of Apology